The Mind won again against the Heart

Today was the day when I felt what was really a dilemma. I entered into state of mind where I couldn’t decide what to do and why should I do it but couldn’t help it because I personally didn’t want to do it but did it. Today when I got up early in the morning my body was begging for rest and my soul was crying to rest as well. But the mind was against any such ideas. It forced me stand out of my bed and get ready. I told to myself I don’t want to go anywhere today but my mind went into pilot zone and commanded my body to do all those things I dint want to do.

So here I am in office writing this. The most frustrating afternoon ever in office. I was talking to my friend saying reasons for coming to office and being nice. I said “I thought that other people will get into lot of load if I wouldn’t come so I came”, but as I said it was just a reason. Then came the axe on my soul. My manager came to my desk started to bark like a wild dog and was telling to do his job. I said why the hell should I do it. Then I soothed myself and got into the job of allocating work to new resources an I took one for myself too. Then came another twist the System Configuration on which I had to work was under maintenance and so I couldn’t do the work but I made sure the work of other 2 resources got completed and after they left then only I was planning to leave. Now I was fed up of twist but there was another one to be sure and it came soon enough and it was only 2 hours from when my worsity started. It came as a surprise. One of the PM came to me and said if you are planning or even thinking to go home then please revert those ideas. As there is one project coming your way that would come around 10:00 PM. My mind blasted and I was felling like yelling my heart out and saying please stop killing my goodness.

It was 7:30 PM now and good news started to come. The system guy came and delivered the first good news. The System on which I had to work said the system wont be ready till tomorrow and hearing that I was about jump in the air to show how happy I was. It would have been equal to the happiness of India winning the Cricket WC beating Pak in the final by 1 Run. The Second Happy news came when my colleague went out for a break and told that he would be doing the late coming Project and he had talked to the PM about the same. I felt like God even feels that a Soul in pain should be given rest.

But the worst times never seem to end. While going I thought of intimating manager about my leaving for the day. When I said so he said “only one configurations Testing is left right and that could not be completed.” I plainly said yes. The pang to answer him back rudely was suppressed by my very own self but it left scar in me. I left for home and was happy because for the first time after joining this office I was going home on Friday this early and the second reason was I was about to go for a trip with my school friends and there was four days holiday to enjoy it.